TELENOVELA WATCH: 'En la Boca del Lobo' Premiere; 'Reina de Corazones' Rushed Ending; Plus, 'Los Miserables,' 'La Gata,' 'El Chivo' and 'Señora Acero'

EN LA BOCA DEL LOBO premieres tonight on UniMás at 10 p.m. ET. It is a Colombian narco-novela produced by Sony and Teleset based on the book "At the Devil's Table: The Untold Story of the Insider Who Brought Down the Cali Cartel" by former L.A. Times journalist William C. Rempel. The title of the book is probably as much a synopsis as required, but more details from the press release:

“The story centers on Ricardo Salgado, an engineer and soldier who rises to become head of security for the godfather of the Cali cartel, one of the world’s largest crime organizations and at war with the Medellin Cartel. After losing his best friend and family, Ricardo has nothing else to lose. Looking for redemption in a world full of corruption, he’s willing to turn in the Cali Cartel to the CIA. But when the operation goes south, Ricardo see himself in the ‘wolf’s mouth’ and he must fight to stay alive.”

Luis Fernando Hoyos (ROSARIO TIJERAS) stars as Ricardo; and the cast features Carolina Acevedo (COMANDO ELITE) as Ricardo’s love interest, and Lucho Velasco (LA VIUDA NEGRA) and Ricardo Vesga (LA MARIPOSA) as two of the heads of the Cali Cartel.


REINA DE CORAZONES
Telemundo is giving the bum’s rush to REINA DE CORAZONES (weeknights at 8 p.m. ET), announcing it is in its final weeks while editing together three episodes a night into a single hour. It is rare for Telemundo to slice-and-dice their telenovelas in this fashion, but REINA DE CORAZONES is a special case because it was recorded long before airdate. In the past, Telemundo recorded their telenovelas close to airdate allowing for quick adjustments to story and character based on audience reaction. A flop telenovela would sometimes see drastic narrative shifts in an attempt to boost viewing figures, as when EL FANTASMA DE ELENA in a single week killed off a half-dozen characters and removed its supernatural angle or RELACIONES PELIGROSAS moved the students to the background and emphasized the storylines of the teachers and parents.

There was little recourse for Telemundo when REINA DE CORAZONES bombed and the surprise is that it lasted on the air as long as it did without an editor’s scissors hastening its departure. REINA’s ratings were worse than DAMA Y OBRERO, a flop from last year that Telemundo actually canceled in the US around episode 80, wrapped up with a specially shot finale while international markets got an additional thirty episodes and the telenovela’s true finale.

While always unfortunate for the audience enjoying a telenovela not to be allowed to see the full versions – surely Telemundo could upload the full episodes on their website – I can’t say I’m sorry to see REINA DE CORAZONES given the boot. It is one of the worst telenovelas of the year, another moronic runaround courtesy of writer Marcela Citterio like her previous two telenovelas for the network: AURORA and CORAZÓN VALIENTE. None of it makes sense, logic is abandoned for the sake of action and “shocking” revelations. Three weeks in a row saw the male or female protagonists shot. I can’t recall seeing a cheaper looking Telemundo Miami production – there are whole episodes that are entirely studio-bound, like an American soap, resulting in drab claustrophobic viewing. Bad green screen is over utilized resulting deplorably cheesy visuals that distances the audience, like a motorcycle ride to the Nevada desert that looks like it was put together by a kid on a laptop.

The characters exist in a shallow cartoon universe, devoid of a chance at development or anything remotely human. It is a shame Paola Núñez, the best leading actress in a Telemundo production this year, is wasted in this trash. Other dependable supporting actors acquit themselves the best they can including Laura Flores, Paulo Quevedo, Carlos Ferro, Wanda D’Isidoro, María Luisa Flores and Maritza Bustamante. Juan Soler and Catherine Siachoque seem to recognize they are in a stinker and give almost spoof performances, which is a colossal mistake. If the actors don’t care about what they are saying and doing, why should the audience? The ratings in Mexico and the US prove they didn’t.


LOS MISERABLES
It is perhaps a consequence of my expectations for Telemundo’s telenovelas being at an all-time low, but their LOS MISERABLES (weeknights at 9 p.m. ET) isn’t too bad. It has almost nothing to do with the Victor Hugo book aside from basic inspiration for the characters and the tiniest plot points and that is for the best; never is this Telemundo/Argos co-production from Mexico clunkier than when trying to shoehorn Hugo onto its proceedings.

Aracely Arámbula plays Lucha, a woman released from prison after eleven years who sets out to fulfill a promise made to a fellow inmate on her deathbed to care for her daughter. I’ve never been much of a fan of Arámbula, but I think the egregious, appallingly wretched performances of some of Telemundo’s recent leading ladies like Lisette Morelos on LA IMPOSTORA, María Elisa Camargo on EN OTRA PIEL, and Blanca Soto on SEÑORA ACERO have perhaps inured me to the more pedestrian bad acting of Arámbula. I like her performance here a great deal more than her turn in LA PATRONA where she was badly miscast and looked ridiculous attempting to be a butch miner.

Erik Hayser plays the male protagonist, Daniel, a cop in love with Lucha. Hayser lacks the charisma to be a truly effective telenovela leading man, but he is a good actor, which many effective telenovela leading men are not. He acts circles around a wooden bad actor like Aarón Díaz in their scenes together. Gabriel Porras, a once decent actor who is getting worse with each telenovela, overacts like a clown. Surprising is Aylín Mújica as the female antagonist. She seems to have canned some of the mummified, whispery sex goddess shtick and is doing some actual acting for the first time I can remember since her telenovelas at Azteca a decade ago.

Where LOS MISERABLES falters is in the writing and supporting cast. The story has stalled too early before the probable next stage where Lucha will be accused of a murder and go on the run. In unfortunately too typical dumb telenovela fashion, she won’t reveal what she knows about the murder until it is too late.

As for the supporting cast, the non-narco Argos/Telemundo productions are either feast or famine – the supporting cast was the best thing in LA IMPOSTORA, strong in ROSA DIAMANTE, blah in LA PATRONA. LOS MISERABLES shares many actors with LA PATRONA, and they aren’t any more interesting here. The juvenile leads are particularly poor.

There is also an unfortunate sameness in the sets, locales, music and atmosphere to the previous Argos/Telemundo productions. LOS MISERABLES, LA IMPOSTORA and LA PATRONA all seem to blend together into a single overlong production and the effect is numbing.


LA GATA
Lowered expectations may also account for my relative tolerance of LA GATA (weeknights at 7 p.m. ET on Univision). It is a very bad telenovela, but one I find easier to endure than last year’s similar CORAZÓN INDOMABLE. Both come courtesy of Nathalie Lartilleux, who is probably the worst producer working at Televisa. They share many of the same flaws: painfully dumb characters, dialogue and plot situations repeated over and over again for weeks on end, and characters reciting long monologues to camera.

CORAZÓN INDOMABLE had a much stronger plot than LA GATA, at least in its first half. The US run of LA GATA is not even half way over yet and already the story seems to have run aground. The character motivations are baffling. There really is nothing separating the lead couple at this point, yet they are not together. There is no reason for the rich ex-convict El Silencioso not to reveal his identity as the father of the Gata, yet he doesn’t and allows her to continue living in the garbage dump with her twin babies. There is no reason for the crone who raised the Gata to continue to push her toward marriage with the corpulent pizzeria owner for his money when she knows the identity of the Gata’s rich father.

Daniel Arenas, the leading man of CORAZÓN INDOMABLE, is back for more punishment in LA GATA. Arenas is again handicapped by a character who is braindead, ineffectual and petty. There are moments where Arenas is able to show considerable charm, but they are almost all throwaways, disconnected from the central story and characters, like a brief playful scene with a young urchin from the garbage dump where much of the telenovela is set.

Where I most prefer LA GATA over CORAZÓN INDOMABLE is in the female protagonist. Once the revenge plot of CORAZÓN INDOMABLE kicked in, I could not stand its protagonist, Maricruz. LA GATA’s Esmeralda, played by Maite Perroni, while not particularly bright, is sympathetic and likable. Perroni is not a strong actress, but there is a sweetness to her screen persona and she has a killer smile that helps compensate for her limitations and truthfully, a two-dimensional role like this doesn’t require much else.

The supporting characters in LA GATA are also better than in CORAZÓN INDOMABLE. Leticia Perdigón gets to play the only character with a working brain and her character seems to instigate what little plot movement there is. The young couple played by Pierre Louis and Mariluz Bermúdez are appealing, though both also embody some of the telenovelas head-smacking goofiness: Louis’s dump dweller always has grime smeared on his face like Pig-Pen from the PEANUTS strips and Bermúdez plays a blind girl who rather than using a cane or guide dog, gets around by taking baby steps and groping the air in front of her with her arms outstretched. Mónika Sánchez recently entered the story as an art dealer with lustful designs for Arenas’s character obvious to everyone but him; it is a cartoonish portrayal but one I find a hoot.


EL CHIVO
The biggest obstacle to enjoying EL CHIVO (weeknights at midnight ET on UniMás) is its utter lack of Dominicanness. I understand it is an RTI/Televisa co-production intended primarily for Colombian audiences, so it features a predominately Colombian cast, but there appears no attempt at all to replicate Dominican people, accent, or locales, a fatal flaw for a production based on the true story of dictator Rafael Trujillo who ruled the Dominican Republic for over thirty years.

As a narrative, EL CHIVO is dull and unfocused. The only character to make an impact on me is the schoolteacher played by Diana Hoyos, the sister-in-law of the dictator who lusts after her, all the while she is romancing a revolutionary opposed to his rule. Juan Sebastián Calero impassively frowns through yet another role as the chief of security/executioner for Trujillo. Andrés Suárez and Julio Sánchez Cóccaro, whose work I enjoyed in MANUAL PARA SER FELIZ and LA MADAME respectively, are very good here in supporting roles. Hoyos, Eileen Moreno and Manuela González look ravishing in their period costumes – it is a shame more telenovelas are not set in the past, but I suppose the cost is prohibitive.


SEÑORA ACERO
SEÑORA ACERO (weeknights at 10 p.m. ET on Telemundo) is the biggest disappointment of the year for me. This narco-novela is an amalgam of everything wretched produced by Telemundo in the previous months: the shallow characters and incoherent plotting – equal parts plot holes and contrivances - of REINA DE CORAZONES, the embarrassing bad acting and shoddy production values of EN OTRA PIEL, and the casual immorality and mendacious story devices of EL SEÑOR DE LOS CIELOS 2. It is a slog watching the heroine raped, abused, tortured and nearly killed every episode only for a ludicrous last moment twist to save her; and this revolting telenovela is especially shameless in its overreliance on depicting children in peril, guns pointed to their heads or their unconscious near-death bodies being carried into hospitals.

It occurred to me Telemundo’s recent 10 p.m. telenovelas, alternating genres between narcos and thrillers, all can be categorized under the heading of grindhouse novelas for their reliance of sensationalistic gore effects. EL ROSTRO DE LA VENGANZA features a woman in her underwear murdered in bed with a power drill; SANTA DIABLA shows a decapitated head served on a platter; EL SEÑOR DE LOS CIELOS features a tortured man getting his hand chopped off. The glory shot for SEÑORA ACERO, repeatedly featured in promos, is of the heroine chopping off the fingers of a bad guy. In the absence of decent storytelling, acting and production values, what is left to sell but schlocky gore?

Is Blanca Soto the worst actress in telenovelas today? Among lead actresses who star in telenovelas produced in Mexico or the US, I say yes. This is the fourth telenovela I’ve seen Blanca Soto in following EVA LUNA, EL TALISMÁN, and PORQUE EL AMOR MANDA and I find her acting getting worse with each telenovela. Soto seems incapable of genuine human reaction or spontaneity – everything is phony and preprogrammed – the artifice of canned beauty queens. Soto is spectacularly bad in SEÑORA ACERO. She constantly pulls me out of the drama. I find myself laughing at the most inappropriate moments like the scene where she cradles her husband’s bloody body after he was shot dead before her eyes. Her staccato growls of anger, nostrils flaring, shifting to goofy petulant-sounding whines, rolling her eyes heavenward in “woe is me” cliché (she does this bad acting staple a ton) and then, the coup de grace, her hideous fake cry (tear free despite the most strenuous face scrunching) accompanied by guttural monkeyish grunts. (To be fair, the dialogue in that scene had me laughing at its awfulness as well, such as when she snarled, “I wish I never met you,” at a man who had kidnapped and raped her. No shit.) Her performance reaches new depths of idiocy whenever she gets a gun in her hands and she plays wacky-eyed homicidal loon – has anyone in movie and television history every looked stupider holding a gun?


R.G. Morin writes a regular column for We Love Soaps, "Telenovela Watch: A weekly look at the world of telenovelas for non-Spanish speakers." For feedback or questions, you can email R.G. Morin at [email protected].