OPINION: Formula 90210

This season the 90 crew is in college. All parents and adults have been completely vanquished from the series. Naomi (AnnaLynne McCord) has bought a multi million dollar mansion while Navid (Michael Steger) and Silver (Jessica Stroup) share a tiny studio with Navid’s brat of a little sister. Last week Naomi was screwed out of getting into California University’s best sorority by Holly (Megalyn Echikunwoke), the beautiful, super bitch sorority president who hates Naomi for a wide variety of offenses but mostly because the sorority tried to purchase the mansion Naomi moved into before she unknowingly outbid them.

Megalyn Echikunwoke (woah what a name! I assume she didn’t have any trouble with anyone else having that name when she joined SAG) is really gorgeous and great in the role of supreme bitch Holly, but to me Naomi IS 90210 and anyone that tries to take her down has got to go.

Okay, so then we have Liam (Matt Lanter). You know the guy who left his friends and girlfriend Annie at the end of last season to go work on a fishing boat for the summer? Yeah, well last week we learned that his good buddy Jim was on the boat with him and died in some freak accident while covering a shift for Liam. I guess after this Liam started having feelings for Jim’s wife Jane (Kristina Apgar) who has now followed Liam to Beverly Hills. Looks like they are done mourning poor Jim the dead guy and they’ve moved on to making whoopee. I don’t trust this Jane one little bit. Why does this zip code have a perpetual revolving door of villains who come to town to tear down these poor, privileged teenagers?

Liam also hired Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) as a waitress at his new bar. Adrianna was once one of my favorite characters but last season she switched her former friend Silver’s bipolar meds and Silver messed up her NYU interview as a result. Adrianna is not to be forgiven! She has done nothing to redeem herself and any character who forgives her is going on my sh—list!

So Annie Wilson (Shenae Grimes) is in a sorority and Dixon Wilson (Tristan Wilds) is trying to get his big break as a DJ/music producer, but is instead probably going to succumb to a drug addiction. These two are such a yawn. I'd much rather see their tossed aside parents Debbie (Lori Loughlin) in a sorority and Harry (Rob Estes) as the DJ with a burgeoning drug problem. Sorry Shenae and Tristan, I’ve liked you both at times and in other things, but the actors who played Mom and Dad Wilson were much more watchable on this show. Even though the show has changed show runners again and again, there is this determination to keep the Wilson kids at the forefront of the series, when frankly Naomi, Silver, Navid, and even Adrianna on her best day are far more compelling characters.

I’m guessing this season the writers and producers are planning to torture the Liam and Annie fans by keeping them apart. Except, I wonder, are there any Liam and Annie fans?? They have no chemistry whatsoever! Liam and Naomi were cute and fun and their romance was cut way too short. Here’s what would be A-MAZING: if the writers made us think their big arc this season was Liam and Annie, they both almost keep coming together but don’t, everyone in their lives is using and abusing them, and just when we think they are finally going to come together, the curve ball: Liam and Naomi come together again. Naomi can be running around with frat boys and sorority girls all year and we won’t even see it coming, but when it happens we’ll know it’s what was meant to be. They just fit when they are together.

The same way Silver and Navid fit together! These two are so awesome together I can't even deal. And can I say how thankful I am that Navid’s dumb sister wasn’t in this episode? I would have had her on the first plane to Switzerland three weeks ago if I was Navid.

I think Ivy (Gillian Zinser) and Raj (the super cute Manish Dayal) are the only couple I like better than Silver and Navid. Raj wasn’t in this week’s episode but we saw Ivy trying to deal with his cancer. Naomi was being too shallow to help poor Ivy, but Silver leant her a friendly shoulder and was able to sympathize given her mother’s similar battle with the disease.

There may be a new alliance in town between new girl Jane and resident bitch Adrianna. Adrianna found out Jane was pregnant from a discarded home pregnancy test. Gag! This is not a character I need to have around for long and you can already see that she’s going to try to parlay this pregnancy into an extended stay in Liam’s heart. So of course Adriana told Liam that Jane is pregnant (with dead Jim’s baby, thank god not Liam’s!) and of course Liam told Jane he wants to be with her and try to make a family with her. Oh god why is this happening?

90210 seems to have a formula that goes like this, start the season by introducing a ton of terrible characters that you would never want to watch on TV, let them wreak havoc on the cast for 18 weeks or so, and then get rid of them. There’s something to this formula that works. That is the end of the season when we lose these awful, horrid, paper thin characters. But the beginning of each season when they introduce these characters is always going to be rough.

Two of these awful characters, Navid’s sister and Beverly Hillbilly Austin, were not on this week’s episode, so I will be thankful for that!

Let’s get back to Naomi because for better or worse, I am committed to this character. Last night, Naomi bought the charter of a fledgling nerd-filled sorority in order to become its president and be able to stay in Greek life to rival Holly. I mean this sorority was seriously hurting as it clearly only had 4 members! Naomi made over her nerdy sorority sisters and brought them to the CU Greek mixer. Naomi, being sweet deep down as we know she is, quickly grew to care for these girls. Of course Holly told the girls that Naomi called them all losers previously and Naomi’s sisters started to turn on her. Natch.

Dixon and Navid had drama because Navid was supposed to give studio time to a big time music producer to help Dixon out and Navid bumped the guy when Justin Bieber needed last minute studio space. (No, Justin Bieber was not actually on the episode). Navid wanted the extra money to get his uncle out of the studio, but I don’t think he’s gonna have any luck getting his uncle to go, as he’s started using Shirazi Studios as the center of a auto theft ring. Navid doesn’t see a clear way out of this problem and instead of telling Silver what’s up, he fires her from working with him at the Studios to “protect her.” Dumb!

Good News: The four girls in Naomi's new sorority ended up having a great time and everyone learned a little bit about sisterhood. And the girls all hate Holly.

Bad News: Annie’s new sorority sister tricked her into becoming an escort. Supposedly, not a prostitute, but let’s see how long that lasts.

Oh Snap News: Holly and her minions found the letter from Naomi's ex, Max, and they are more than prepared to use it against her.

I hate to see Naomi go though crisis, but actually I love to see Naomi go through crisis, because you KNOW she will ultimately have her revenge and the longer it takes her to get to that point, the sweeter her revenge will be. I can’t wait to see how she ultimately takes down Holly!

Greg Turner contributes primetime reviews for We Love Soaps. Along with Brian Hewson, Greg is the creator, writer, and producer of the web soap, EMPIRE, which can be found at www.empiretheseries.com. Greg loves soaps.