Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The Dos and Don'ts of Marriage: Lessons Learned From Watching Soap Operas

It's been four days since my Times Square wedding where I tied the knot with Kevin Mulcahy Jr. in a ceremony officiated by AS THE WORLD TURNS star Colleen Zenk.  We've already lasted longer than some celebrity marriages! One of the highlights of that perfect day was the Best Man speeches at the reception.  My Best Man, We Love Soaps' Damon L. Jacobs, author of "Absolutely Shouldless," gave the final speech and spoke about how we met and bonded over growing up as fans of daytime drama.  Damon closed his speech with a very cute list he created, The Dos and Don'ts of Marriage, based on his viewing experience as a lifelong fan of daytime soap operas.

DO help and support each other through business and creative projects.

DON’T lie about having a stalker in order to get your husband’s attention

DO tell your husband about any random illegitimate children you have growing up without you in any parts of the world, especially if that random child has a twin brother/sister/cousin.

DON’T ever  believe your husband is dead unless you see the body (and even then it’s iffy)

DO have a secret word that only the two of you in case your evil doppelganger kidnaps you and tries to take over your life.

DON’T allow your husband or anyone else to lure you into a angry bull ring in Spain.

DO call a priest if you find your husband levitating over the bed.

DON”T sleep with your husband’s brother / sister / mother / father / twin cousin under any circumstances, and that includes being stranded in the snow after a plane crash.  THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO KEEP WARM!

DO stay true to yourself, your beliefs, your principles.

DON’T jump in the World Wide Plaza fountain and declare yourself the “Slut of Manhattan.”

DO remember that this man will be your guiding light as long as your world turns for all the days of your life to live, even when you are no longer young, restless, bold or beautiful.

DON’T ban him to Another World when he makes a mistake.  

The reception guests loved in and one in particular, Ms. Zenk, was quite vocal, recognizing a number of "don'ts" from the many marriages of her ATWT character, Barbara Ryan.

If you want to add more marriage dos and don'ts from soaps add them in the Comments section below.

- Husband and Husband. And Colleen Zenk Officiated Our Wedding!