Thursday, January 3, 2008

Letterman Return: Top 10 Featured Soap Writer

David Letterman returned last night his Top 10 list was delivered on air by ten of the real-life striking writers who picket almost daily with the Letterman scribes.

Top 10 Demands of the Striking Writers
10. The Daily Show's Tim Carvell: "Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer."
9. The Colbert Report's Laura Kraft: "No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines."
8. Emmy winning soap writer Melissa Salmons (ATWT and GL): "Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester."
7. Law & Order: Criminal Intent's Warren Leight: "Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for."
6. The Colbert Report's Jay Katsir: "No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having inappropriate relationship with a copier."
5. The Daily Show's Steve Bodow: "I’d like a date with a woman."
4. Writer/director Nora Ephron: "Hazard pay for breaking up fights on The View."
3. Law & Order's Gina Gionfriddo: "I’m no accountant, but instead of us getting 4 cents for a $20 DVD, how about we get $20 for a 4-cent DVD?"
2. Late Night's Chris Albers: "I don’t have a joke – I just want to remind everyone that we’re on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list."
1. Writer Alan Zwiebel: "Producers must immediately remove their heads from their asses."

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