Thursday, March 28, 2013

"General Hospi-Tale" Used On Thursday's GENERAL HOSPITAL (Lyrics & Audio)

Remember "General Hospi-Tale" by The Afternoon Delights? GENERAL HOSPITAL resurrected the song on Thursday's episode as Richard Simmons led the nurses in a dance.

Here are the lyrics (audio is below) of the 1981 classic:

Rock it hard, rock it steady
Pick yourself up and get yourself ready
Wave your arms let me hear you yell
We're gonna rap about General Hospi-Tale

It started out in Port Charles town
Where Frank Smith's mob used to hang around
No one could prove that he was a crook
Till Luke stole his little black book


It had names and numbers all in code
So Luke and Laura had to hit the road
They had to find the left-handed boy
Watch their step, they had to be coy

The gold involved was worth so much
Others wanted it like Sally and Hutch
But there's one thing I must confess
Sally was a man who wore a dress

Luke kept his cool, he ain't no fool
He set them both up cold
Well Sally died, Hutch survived
And no one got the gold

"Paging Dr. Noah Drake to ICU to treat a case of heartbreak"

They keep me waiting
I don't mind waiting
Don't call me crazy
No I'm not lazy
My day won't go right
I can't sleep all night
My hands start shaking
My knees start aching
I just can't cope without my soap

General Hospi-Tale
General Hospi-Tale
Umm, number one
General Hospi-Tale
You're my worst affliction
General Hospi-Tale
You're my favorite addiction

Monica likes to have her fun
That is why she had a son
She told Rick he was the dad
Soon found out that he'd been had

"There's one thing that you can give me that Leslie can't and that's passion"

Alan was the father, of course
And he won't give Monica a divorce
Rick wants to get Leslie back
Heather's havin' an insane attack

"I'll get Diana Taylor"

She's not crazy, uh-uh, no never
She just wants to get Dr. Jeff Webber
Jeff wants Annie for his wife
But he might have to wait all of his life
Cause good girls don't, and Annie won't
And you all know what I mean

Amy Vining likes to blab
Richard Simmons helps fight flab
Susan's having Alan's baby
Noah wants Bobbie for his lady

Well Luke got another job
The Quartermaines are the brand new mob
Laura's the receptionist
What's missing now is the Ice Princess

"Yes, Luke Spencer, please"

Diamonds, not gold, are in it this time
Scorpio, the house of Cassadine
On and on and on it goes
How it ends up nobody knows, cause

They keep me waiting
I don't mind waiting
Don't call me crazy
No I'm not lazy
My day won't go right
I can't sleep all night
If I don't find out
It blows my mind out
I just can't cope without my soap

General Hospi-Tale
General Hospi-Tale
Umm, number one
General Hospi-Tale
You're my worst affliction
General Hospi-Tale
You're my favorite addiction

General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
You're my inspiration
General Hospi-Tale
Gonna stay tuned to this station
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
Tell me what's goin' on
Did you see it today?
General Hospi-Tale
Tell me what's goin' on!
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
I love my General Hospi-Tale


This rap gained more airplay on pop stations and made it's way to #33 for two weeks on Billboard Top 100 charts in summer 1981 (peaking in early October).  In total the song spent 16 weeks in the Top 100.



Months before "General Hospi-Tale," a song authorized by ABC, came onto the scene, another GH parody made waves. Singer Joanne Cipolla wrote a song titled "General Hospital" to help get attention for her new band, Planet Street. But ABC sued Cipolla and six other defendants for $500,000, charging trademark infringement for use of the name of its top-rated soap. Cipolla asserted her right to freedom of speech and counter-sued ABC.

Cipolla wrote lyrics like these:

Jeff is losing Heather to LSD
Diane lost Peter to surgery
Now Jeff and Diane disco-dance and have fun
But will Jeff find out Diane adopted his lost son?

But don't worry because no one's going to tell
that you watch General Hospital

7 comments:

  1. OMG I remember this so well. I am officially ancient!

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  2. It was so awesome to see Richard Simmons leading a dance to this song today on GH!

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  3. I traded a Valley Girl 45 for the 45 of this song when I was a freshmen in high school and boy did I burn that record up. It was so cool having an actual song played on the radio about my favorite show GH.

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  4. Looks as though we're the "oldies but goodies" since we bought the 45 when it came out. My sister, brother and I each bought a copy and played it day and night. You couldn't get enough of General Hospital back then. The group was local and talked about it all the time on the radio. Sunday nights would be "Soap Sunday" with Mike Osborne. Mostly dedicated to General Hospital but did include other soaps.

    Benjamin, I still have my 45 of Valley Girl. That was such a great and happy time. Miss those days.

    For those who don't know what a 45 is, I'm so sorry you missed out on such a great era.

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  5. Isn't it just awesome at how good General Hospital is these days? Sure, I wish Tiffany and Sean were making a return, but I cannot complain. Ron and Frank have worked hard to give us the best show around! Richard Simmons seems so excited about his return..cannot wait to watch today's episode tomorrow..I am a Hulu & Hulu Plus viewer now.

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