GENERAL'S HOSPITAL On THE COLBERT REPORT Featuring Susan Lucci


The scandal of former CIA director David Petraeus was one of the topics on THE COLBERT REPORT last night. Colbert said it was like a steamy episode of GENERAL'S HOSPITAL. After he had gone through (and mocked) the entire story (including calling the five-way complicated scandal not just a love triangle but a "love pentagon") Colbert declared the news had jumped the shark and this story is "done. We should all move on." Then ALL MY CHILDREN alum Susan Lucci walked out!

"Oh, this is far from over, Stephen," Lucci said. She then revealed General Petraeus "has developed amnesia... and cant remember that he's pregnant... by his own evil twin... who's in a coma... and is my lover."

"That doesn't make any sense," Colbert replied.

"How dare you!" Lucci yelled and slapped him from across the studio.

"How did you do that from over there?"

"Don't you remember? I was in a boating accident, and now I have telekinesis... just like General Petraeus."

Watch the segment below:


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